BlogOfParadox

Archive for the ‘feminism’ Category

1 in 4 women will experience abuse in her lifetime.

That’s really where this post could end, but allow me to continue. Every 15 seconds, a woman is beaten. 4.8 million intimate partner-related acts of violence annually, and less than 20% of them receive medical care post-assault. A recent social experiment showed that many people still consider a certain amount of violence as acceptable when dealing with a perceived lower class of people.

From an early age, we’re taught not to stare, not to make a fuss, to mind our own damn business. We want to believe the best of the people we encounter in our day to day lives. We want our friends and relatives to be happy, so we believe them when they say they’re “Fine.”

I’ve been that person, who politely looked away, didn’t notice my friend’s injuries, believed flimsy excuses.  Society makes it easy for us to look away from violence, even when it’s happening under our noses. Much later, she showed me the body-sized hole in her drywall, and it made my stomach turn. I wanted to put my fist through the wall alongside the spot where she’d landed, to go to the hardware store and patch over the place where love and trust had failed her, to do anything except stand mutely in front of the hole.

I was so angry for my friend. I was so deeply ashamed of myself for not recognizing abuse, for being so ill-equipped to help her.

This is my fourth year volunteering with the Chick Ball. I have a lot of reasons why I volunteer, but the most important reason is because I have seen too many wonderful people beaten and emotionally decimated by loved ones. I’ve heard too many excuses from strong, brilliant people about why their parent, sibling or partner is justified in treating them abominably.

Last year, the Chick Ball raised nearly $16,000 to help the CVP found a batterer’s  intervention program (the first of its kind in Jackson) to work with abusers who want to make good on their promises of “never again.” Studies have shown 15 percent of those who completed an abuse intervention program were rearrested for domestic violence, compared with 37 percent of those who dropped out of the program.

2010′s efforts will provide seed money for a Victim’s Legal Fund. Justice may be blind, but toll is steep. When victims leave their abusers, their resources are stretched thin. Victims often don’t have the money necessary to take their abusers to court:  to fight for full custody of their children.

All seriousness aside, the Chick Ball is hugely fun without diminishing the gravity of the issue at hand.  We need volunteers in all aspects of planning and execution of the event (JULY 24), and you meet amazing, motivated, formidable women. If you can’t volunteer, please consider donating artwork or goods for door prizes and silent auction pieces, or even sponsorship ($50 is our base level of sponsorship.) Above all, just come and enjoy the fruits of our labor.

I’m not big on posting lots of videos, but this one has made my week. It reminds me of all the best about Buffy Summers, and why even a passing glance at Twilight is all, y’know, like GAG ME. Contrasted with Whedon’s Buffy, Edward’s creepiness outshines even his sparkliness.

Buffy’s not perfect (one of Whedon’s strengths), but when it comes to fictitious role models, I wish my sister had more Buffy Summers and less Bella Swans.

This is my third year volunteering with the Chick Ball. I have a lot of reasons why I volunteer, but the most important reason is because I have seen too many wonderful people beaten and emotionally decimated by loved ones. I’ve heard too many excuses from strong, brilliant people about why their parent, sibling or partner is justified in treating them abominably.

It’s an easy thing to say, “The first time a man hits me, I’m out the door.” It’s an automatic, brainless and rational reaction to the idea of violence, but it does not encompass all the factors that can influence a situation: children, pets, finances, vows, shame, pride, fear and love.  It doesn’t take into account the gradual whittling away of self-worth that usually precludes a violent act. The hard-and-fast rule we’re taught doesn’t account for an abuser’s remorse, apologies or promises.

We often focus on the families and aftermath of abuse. This year, the Chick Ball is raising money to help fund an intervention program (the first of its kind in Jackson) to work with abusers who want to make good on their promises of “never again.” Personal change and growth is rough, but it’s doable, especially with help. Studies have shown 15 percent of those who completed an abuse intervention program were rearrested for domestic violence, compared with 37 percent of those who dropped out of the program.

All seriousness aside, the Chick Ball is hugely fun without diminishing the gravity of the issue at hand.  We need volunteers in all aspects of planning and execution of the event, and you meet amazing, motivated, formidable women. If you can’t volunteer, please consider donating artwork or goods for door prizes and silent auction pieces, or even sponsorship ($50 is our base level of sponsorship.) Above all, just come and enjoy the fruits of our hard work.

2009 Chick Ball Poster (please print and distribute!)

2009 Chick Ball Sponsorship Sheet

And feel free to repost this little press release anywhere you like!

SATURDAY, July 25, 2009

6 p.m. to 1 a.m.

Hal & Mal’s Red Room

WHAT:

The Jackson Free Press will present its 5th Annual JFP Chick Ball, an affordable night of music, art, spoken word and performance that has raised thousands of dollars in the last two years to honor the Center for Violence Prevention. All proceeds from the door, art auction and direct donations will be presented to the center following the event. Sign up for our Twitter feed @jfpchickball so you don’t miss anything.

This year, the event will be bigger than ever, with dozens of businesses and artists in and around Jackson donating door prizes and artwork for the art auction. Our cause is more ambitious as well: instead of concentrating on the aftermath, we’re going for the root of the problem. We’re looking to raise some of the initial funding for a program to help abusers stop being abusers. This will be the only domestic abuse intervention program of its kind in and around Jackson.

Specifics: Learn more about the Duluth Model, the most replicated woman abuse intervention model in the country.

WHO:

The line-up of female musical, visual and performance artists is headlined every year by a diverse group of women. We’ll be sure to make a big announcement when the lineup is finalized.

WHEN:

Saturday, July 25th, 6 p.m. Admission is only $5 – and only $10 to get your chance at a door prize.

WHERE:

Hal and Mal’s Red Room

WHY:

Because we want to help the CVP works for their important cause – putting a stop to domestic violence in our community.

Sponsorships Available:

• Diva – $2,500+
• Goddess – $1,000
• Queen – $500
• Princess – $250
• Chick/Rooster – $50

Call 601.362.6121 ext. 2, or e-mail chickball@jacksonfreepress.com with questions about volunteering, sponsorships and donations for silent auction.

It’s no surprise Sarah Palin disgusts me: her lying, hypocrisy, ethics, and opinions on reproductive rights can send me into furious, hour-long rants; much less her piss-poor understanding environmental stewardship, her belief that God cares a lot more about war and oil than social programs, and her ignorance to the vital role community organizers play in our society.  I could easily write an essay, but I won’t.

Anything else I say will detract from my main message, which is that there’s a way for you to voice your disappointment/rage/frustration in a constructive way.

There is an online grassroots movement (GO COMMUNITY ORGANIZERS!!) urging people to donate to Planned Parenthood “in honor of” Sarah Palin.

Craig Newmark (yes, Craigslist Craig) writes on The HuffPo:

When you make a donation to PP in her name, they’ll send her a card telling her that the donation has been made in her honor.  Here’s the link to the Planned Parenthood website:

https://secure.ga0.org/02/pp10000_inhonor

You’ll need to fill in the address to let PP know where to send the “in Sarah Palin’s honor” card. I suggest you use the address for the McCain campaign headquarters, which is:

McCain for President
1235 S. Clark Street
1st Floor
Arlington , VA 22202

P.S. Make sure you use that link above or choose the pulldown of Donate–Honorary or Memorial Donations, not the regular “Donate Online”

In my opinion, this is using the full snark of the Internet for the highest good.  I would be thrilled if it came to be that Sarah Palin was responsible for the largest online fundraiser for Planned Parenthood.

We need equality. Kinda now.

I’m always stunned when something like this happens. I know I live in the deep south, and I know that I work with folks whose entire careers immerse them in the near- to distant-past. However, this is just crazy.

I got stopped my two people having an animated conversation, evidently engrossed in the subtleties of female honorifics. They were particularly confounded by the pronunciation of Ms. I offered my input (It’s a hardish z sound, like Mizz) and started to leave when one said something about me being a Mrs.

I said, “I actually don’t go by Mrs., I prefer Ms.”

“But you’re married! Only divorced women use Ms.”

I rambled awkwardly about how it most certainly was not a construct for divorcees, but it didn’t seem like any of it sunk in. I’m just so stunned and baffled by such a ridiculous and narrow statement.

For the record:

Many of us think of Ms. or Ms as a fairly recent invention of the women’s movement, but in fact the term was first suggested as a convenience to writers of business letters by such publications as the Bulletin of the American Business Writing Association (1951) and The Simplified Letter, issued by the National Office Management Association (1952). Ms. is now widely used in both professional and social contexts. As a courtesy title Ms. serves exactly the same function that Mr. does for men, and like it may be used with a last name alone or with a full name. Furthermore, Ms. is correct regardless of a woman’s marital status, thus relegating that information to the realm of private life, where many feel it belongs anyway. Some women prefer Miss or Mrs., however, and courtesy requires that their wishes be respected.

Planned Parenthood writes:

Last week, we defeated the Child Protection Act (which was really a teen endangerment act) in the House, and now the Senate has put the language from that bill in as an amendment on another bill – HB 520.

HB 520 punishes parents for having trusting relationships with their teens and pits family members against each other. The possibility of family members suing each other because one tried to help a teen relative access safe health care could tear Mississippi families apart.

HB 520 creates an unconstitutional burden on teens. Minors without parental involvement may well have to go to court to obtain judicial waivers of two states’ laws: Mississippi’s and the state’s where they are obtaining an abortion, requiring the minor to go through two legal procedures in two states’ courts. This will delay minors’ abortions, creating unconstitutional burdens on their right to privacy and their right to travel interstate to seek medical care.

HB 520 infringes on First Amendment rights. The bill could inhibit the provision of factual information to minors about the services provided by out of state health centers as providing such information potentially could be viewed as “assisting” or “aiding” a minor to obtain an out of state abortion.

By traveling to a neighboring state, Mississippi teens are not evading parental consent requirements. In fact, every state surrounding Mississippi already has a parental consent law with which women seeking an abortion must comply.

HB 520 completely ignores geographic and economic realities. Out of state travel is often the simplest and least financially burdensome way for women to obtain needed medical services.

The mandatory reporting requirements of HB 520 expands reporting to include instances where teens are involved in normal sexual activity with other teens.

HB 520 removes the ability of health professionals, clergy members, teachers and childcare providers to make judgments as to whether teens are engaging in normal sexual activity and instead mandates that they report a wide range of sexual behaviors.

Please send emails or call:

Rep. Willie Bailey, Judiciary B Committee Chairman, phone: 601-359-1541
Speaker of the House William McCoy, phone: 601-359-3300, and
Your own legislator

Ask them to oppose the mandatory reporting requirements and abortion restrictions in the amendment to HB 520 because they are a threat to the health of Mississippi teens.

Please send your emails or make your calls immediately to help defeat this bill. It could receive a final vote as early as Friday morning (tomorrow) and could be on the Governor’s desk tomorrow if we don’t act now!

Distribute far and wide, please.

Edit: In retrospect, I realize I’d rather be talking about The Politics of Dancing. While the video really should have more hair gel and eyeliner than it does, but is still way more fun than nasty comments from Officious Office People.

I’ve been talking about makeup lately on several levels ranging from frivolous, feminist, artifice, other people’s comfort, etc.

I love makeup. I love hair dye.
I have loved makeup since I was in sixth grade and believed you should apply eyeshadow until it resembled the color of the eyeshadow cake itself, just like the new wave girls on MTV. (Sometimes, I still espouse this opinion, but there is a time and place.)

I started getting the hang of makeup when I began performing regularly, and would frequently end up pinning down theatre guys to do their eyeliner. Rrrowwr. Well-applied guyliner still makes my toes curl. LARPing and college honed my makeup skills, and clubbing expanded my skillset.

I don’t wear makeup very often these days: usually lip gloss/lashtint. Every once in a while, I go all out, and I have fun, but I conserve my energy/finger dexterity for more important things.

What annoys me is the melodramatic way people react when I wear makeup now. It’s always an over-enthusiastic, forced ordeal. For all the fuss, you’d think I was trollish without makeup, and a shiny princess transformed by my faerie gothmother MAC. Nearly everyone’s face changes dramatically with good makeup technique, but people gasp like they’ve witnessed some sort of great feat of magic. It really makes me not want to wear it at all, because it feels like their reaction is so strong because they are trying to reward “good” or “acceptable” behavior.

What pushes me over the edge? When a coworker pulls me aside and suggests that since I’m chronically ill, I should wear makeup more often because when I look like I feel poorly, it makes people uncomfortable. This is such grand idiocy. When my shoulders burn, the muscles in my chest are too tight to breathe properly, and it feels like there’s a piece of hot metal bouncing around in my left thigh… the farthest thing from my mind is an acquaintance’s discomfort. I am just trying to get through the day without taking it out on someone else, and why skew anyone’s expectations with artifice?

I’d like to take a moment of your Friday to talk about deficit reduction, specifically the Federal Deficit Act of 2005, and how it’s made it difficult to keep college-age and low-income women’s access to health care services, as well as affordable contraception.

So, Deirdra, how does the Federal Deficit Reduction Act of 2005 affect reproductive freedom?

The provisions of the DRA have narrowed the scope of providers who would be eligible to continue to purchase deeply discounted drugs. The bill was intended to remove discounted drug pricing for hospitals that operate for a profit. College clinics were not specifically targeted, and so no one realized they would be affected until afterwards. As a result, brand name prescription prices for campus clinics rose from about the $3 to $10 range per month to the $30 to $50 range.

Most clinics had stockpiles of contraceptives, which allowed them to delay price increases until more recently. However, since January 2007, birth control costs have skyrocketed at university and public health clinics. According to Planned Parenthood’s research, some birth control pill packs have increased in price from $10 to $49 per month at Mississippi State University. Similar increases are soon expected at The University of Mississippi, as well as The University of Southern Mississippi. Nationally, clinics have had to cut staff, hours and services (such as prenatal care, educational programs and even cervical screenings) to try and keep contraceptives affordable for their patients. Unintended pregnancies are on the rise amongst women in their 20s.

The problem is simple: Due to an unintentional error made by Congress, we are facing a national health crisis that affects three million undergraduates and over 850,000 low-income women. Raising a child is hardly cheap, but scores of women are losing their access to reliable birth control because of the DRA’s provisions. When students and low-income families are forced to choose between groceries and contraception, everyone loses.

Fortunately, the solution is also a simple matter: if the Senate clarifies the language of the bill, the changes can be enacted immediately. Some senators have recognized the error and have been working to fix the problem, but the matter would benefit greatly from a huge surge of public support.

Nearly four million women are counting on Congress, and you, to help make birth control affordable.

Ask your senator to fix the birth control pricing problem caused by the Deficit Reduction Act. A small change will protect women’s health, and put birth control back within women’s reach.