My first food column ran yesterday in the Jackson Free Press. It’s called Salad Days: Avoiding Lettuce Burnout, and includes recipes for a deconstructed pesto salad and a cookout-friendly Grilled Caesar.

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I’m not big on posting lots of videos, but this one has made my week. It reminds me of all the best about Buffy Summers, and why even a passing glance at Twilight is all, y’know, like GAG ME. Contrasted with Whedon’s Buffy, Edward’s creepiness outshines even his sparkliness.

Buffy’s not perfect (one of Whedon’s strengths), but when it comes to fictitious role models, I wish my sister had more Buffy Summers and less Bella Swans.

Feel free to contact me, though: just be forewarned I might be slow.  Locals take note: phoning/texting me might actually be more reliable than email for once.

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Now, I just need to be sure my other subdomains (like shockra.birdofparadox.com), as well as the other domains our side business hosts, aren’t being hit with the “sexual content” stamp of disapproval.

I wandered around in sensory overload, numbed by Easter Egg radishes, blown away that they, too, thought there were greens other than Collards fit for eating.

Soon, we’d walked past the bakery and gelato, and Matthew (with an understated flourish) gestured towards the cheese section. To be fair, our local Kroger has a surprisingly kick-ass cheese station, but there are a few things pointedly missing from their assortment.

That’s when I saw it. Directly behind my dear husband’s hand, there was a huge wheel with a particularly distinctive font decorating its rind.

Locatelli.

I could lie and say I was excited.

To be entirely honest, I jumped up and down, flapped my hands and squawked in such an unseemly fashion, people must have thought Matthew proposed to me with a gigantic wheel of cheese. Lottery Jackpot winners comport themselves with more dignity and grace. Matthew, bless him, did not suddenly pretend I was some cheese-fetishizing maniac stranger.

When I am gone from this world, I hope I am remembered as the girl who’d turn somersaults for a fine wheel of cheese.