BlogOfParadox

Posts Tagged ‘feminism’

We need equality. Kinda now.

I’m always stunned when something like this happens. I know I live in the deep south, and I know that I work with folks whose entire careers immerse them in the near- to distant-past. However, this is just crazy.

I got stopped my two people having an animated conversation, evidently engrossed in the subtleties of female honorifics. They were particularly confounded by the pronunciation of Ms. I offered my input (It’s a hardish z sound, like Mizz) and started to leave when one said something about me being a Mrs.

I said, “I actually don’t go by Mrs., I prefer Ms.”

“But you’re married! Only divorced women use Ms.”

I rambled awkwardly about how it most certainly was not a construct for divorcees, but it didn’t seem like any of it sunk in. I’m just so stunned and baffled by such a ridiculous and narrow statement.

For the record:

Many of us think of Ms. or Ms as a fairly recent invention of the women’s movement, but in fact the term was first suggested as a convenience to writers of business letters by such publications as the Bulletin of the American Business Writing Association (1951) and The Simplified Letter, issued by the National Office Management Association (1952). Ms. is now widely used in both professional and social contexts. As a courtesy title Ms. serves exactly the same function that Mr. does for men, and like it may be used with a last name alone or with a full name. Furthermore, Ms. is correct regardless of a woman’s marital status, thus relegating that information to the realm of private life, where many feel it belongs anyway. Some women prefer Miss or Mrs., however, and courtesy requires that their wishes be respected.

Edit: In retrospect, I realize I’d rather be talking about The Politics of Dancing. While the video really should have more hair gel and eyeliner than it does, but is still way more fun than nasty comments from Officious Office People.

I’ve been talking about makeup lately on several levels ranging from frivolous, feminist, artifice, other people’s comfort, etc.

I love makeup. I love hair dye.
I have loved makeup since I was in sixth grade and believed you should apply eyeshadow until it resembled the color of the eyeshadow cake itself, just like the new wave girls on MTV. (Sometimes, I still espouse this opinion, but there is a time and place.)

I started getting the hang of makeup when I began performing regularly, and would frequently end up pinning down theatre guys to do their eyeliner. Rrrowwr. Well-applied guyliner still makes my toes curl. LARPing and college honed my makeup skills, and clubbing expanded my skillset.

I don’t wear makeup very often these days: usually lip gloss/lashtint. Every once in a while, I go all out, and I have fun, but I conserve my energy/finger dexterity for more important things.

What annoys me is the melodramatic way people react when I wear makeup now. It’s always an over-enthusiastic, forced ordeal. For all the fuss, you’d think I was trollish without makeup, and a shiny princess transformed by my faerie gothmother MAC. Nearly everyone’s face changes dramatically with good makeup technique, but people gasp like they’ve witnessed some sort of great feat of magic. It really makes me not want to wear it at all, because it feels like their reaction is so strong because they are trying to reward “good” or “acceptable” behavior.

What pushes me over the edge? When a coworker pulls me aside and suggests that since I’m chronically ill, I should wear makeup more often because when I look like I feel poorly, it makes people uncomfortable. This is such grand idiocy. When my shoulders burn, the muscles in my chest are too tight to breathe properly, and it feels like there’s a piece of hot metal bouncing around in my left thigh… the farthest thing from my mind is an acquaintance’s discomfort. I am just trying to get through the day without taking it out on someone else, and why skew anyone’s expectations with artifice?