For midsummer last year, I had the intention of uprooting them forever. I had grand plans to weave the strands into a wreath—no matter the bloodshed and discomfort. I was beginning strong boundary work, and thought it would be an excellent talisman.

I thought back to a name I call myself , and could not bear to pull them. I wasn’t ready.

Last week, the time was right. I gathered utensils, and went to deal with them once and for all.

They were covered in flowers: given space, they were able to bear fruit.

It’s a metaphor for practice: everyone thinks that the work must be profound and moving, each time, or you aren’t doing it right. I have a long-standing friendship that mirrors this scenario: I can’t be mad at them for doing the same things they always do. The only thing I can do is decide how I want to deal with it. I’ve been an all-or-nothing girl for so long, a bridge burner. I realized that lately I have allowed fallow seasons for work, friends, and situations instead of scything them to the black earth. The best action can be a standstill or a pivot. I have begun my strong boundary work in earnest, and find inaction and observance as my unlikely talismans.

Sometimes, practice is about falling down on the job, too, and bearing witness to the snowy unfurling of unexpected sweetness.

Mykl Roventine via Flickr/Creative Commons

I keep a regular sitting practice. This means that at least once a day, and as often as possible, I sit and surrender fully to the whirlwind that is my life. I don’t try to fight the to-do list, the inevitable tumbleweed of pet fur, the idea that after several years I should somehow be better at this, or any other sort of thought. If you’ve never done this before, allow me to give you a wealth of advice in two sentences.

1. Your brain is filled with restless monkeys bent toward mischief.
2. The goal of meditation is not to quell the monkey rebellion, but to learn to find peace and quietude anyway.

Last night, I meditated while a tiny dog rooted his head under my hands, playfully nipped mudra, stood on my leg to put his toes and chin upon my heart, and finally, exhausted, sat upon my stacked feet.

Monkey Mind, Meet Tiny Mo, the Dyna-Mo

In a sitting practice, it’s usually our mind that does the ferreting and capering until we find stillness, but Mo’s literal scrabbling ultimately led to peacefulness of a different sort. My monkey-mind began to band together, bent upon serenity instead of mischief. All systems were united to thwart distraction. At Mo’s moment of surrender, I felt deep-seated clarity as resonant as a bell.

I think the chihuahua learned as much about non-attachment and stillness in chaos as I did.

What detracts from your practice? Is it something you can overcome, or is it in itself its own lesson?

You are also invited to attend a Capoeira Roda in honor of Ivory Harris on October 3, 2009 at 4035 B North State Street!  Look for the Balloons.  Parking in the rear of the house or about 3 blocks down at the corner of Meadowbrook and State Street.  Event starts at 5:00 p.m. until.  Bring Food, Drinks and your checkbook!

Please send your donation to:

Officer Ivory Harris Fire Fund
c/o Renee Dean
P. O. Box 12833
Jackson, MS 39236
601 624-6542

KITTIES!!! are by far one of the cooler birthday presents I’ve received, but to be honest, I’m not so big on stuff these days. I’m trying to pare down, scale back and simplify my life; stuff holds me back. I’d much rather have your company for birthday weekend festivities.

If you are the sort of person who would normally get me a present, please instead consider donating to In Defense of Animals’ PROJECT HOPE, the organization who helped us in the aftermath of WallCat rescue. Hope Sanctuary is an animal sanctuary located in rural Mississippi. Doll Stanley and her staff/volunteers have doggedly worked to rescue abused and neglected animals in Mississippi and all over the Deep South for sixteen years. LeeAnn Leonard is one of the foster/rescue volunteers with Project Hope, and the foster human to the WallCats and their surrogate mama, Hemi. If it wasn’t for LeeAnn and IDA, this story might not have such a happy ending. I’m not 100% behind IDA’s mission, but Project Hope is a great cause in a state that could use five more sanctuaries.

Here’s a link to IDA’s program-specific donation page. There’s a dropdown menu for “Project or Campaign”: please select PROJECT HOPE.

If you’re more visually inclined, please enlarge the image below.

Of course, you could always adopt Hemi or Wall-Kitty Zeta, which would be a gift for everyone!

Hemi is a gorgeous shorthaired, polydactyl blue-grey MILA (Mom I’d Like to Adopt). She was rescued via In Defense of Animals, and soon gave birth to a single kitten, Junior. Hemi must’ve had a larger family in mind because she accepted each and every wallcat as her own, and has been fiercely protective of her litter. If you love Hemingway cats and are interested in an adult cat with a touch of old Hollywood beauty, Hemi would be an excellent choice.  Her IDA adoption fees ($75) will cover her shots and her spaying.

Junior is about 7-10 days behind the Wallcats, but he’s bigger by far than any of the others. He’s a polydactyl black-n-white emo kid with a fierce white goatee and fingerless gloves. His head is football-shaped, even Stewie Griffin-ish, and he has striking white whiskers in every direction. He and Puff will be heading to their forever home in mid-May.

Sad Ending to Zeta’s story:read more

Zeta was a beautiful calico with a sweet disposition and a thoroughly endearing habit of sucking on a foot to fall asleep. She was fond of sleeping in impossible, hilarious positions, even with her mouth wide open. We’re told Zeta was more of a cuddle-kitty than a rambunctious adventurer, and that definitely goes along with my personal experience with her (she crawled onto my chest and dozed off immediately). Zeta passed away on April 26.

Both of these kids’ll come home with us on my birthday, officially Best Caturday in History.

Someone’s already called dibs on the wee Siamese one with a raccoon tail, but there’s a wee tortie/calico (who sucks her/his foot to go to sleep), a grey tabby (first out of the wall, brave explorer) and a brown tabby (so handsome!!) They’re all ridiculously cute.

LeeAnn (who works with In Defense of Animals’ Mississippi program PROJECT HOPE) says that if you choose to adopt a Wallcat, Junior (the black and white) or Hemi (mamacat) via IDA, your donation covers your cat’s spay/neuter, their first round of shots, AND helps needy animals in Mississippi. That’s a crazy deal

Adoption fees via IDA are

• $75 for one beloved cutiepie
• $100 for two (don’t you want two? You know you want two!!)

You can contact me at wallcats@birdofparadox.com for more information.

You can check out Project Hope’s blog to see what they do, but warning: there are some really sad cases.

Wallcats from Matthew Glover on Vimeo.

This time, it’s different. There’s so much effort and thought that goes into planning an Anusara-style class, and that work keeps you grounded and completely, uncomfortably, unflinchingly involved in the guts of living. We theme our classes; not only physically, but emotionally. It’s like theatre without the comforting veneer of character. If your heart’s not in your theme, if you’re not engaged with the material, you come across as full of shit. No one wants to be called on their bullshit when they’re surrounded by a bunch of buff people who know how to bend themselves (and YOU) in terrible configurations.

So the practice keeps me focused and present, even when I’d rather be staring at YouTube or cleaning the tile with a toothbrush. The teaching digs more deeply than the practice, and while my physical progress is best measured in micrometers, I feel like I’m making some serious head&heart-way.