Eye of the Storm
never have i been a calm blue sea
i have always been a storm — stevie nicks
I’ve been quieter than I like to be for a long time. It is unsettling to settle in. I have a home, and I’ve been in a relationship for eleven years. I’ve been in Mississippi for nearly the amount of time I spent in Atlanta.
I keep busy. I fall into depression easily if I don’t. Movement gives me the illusion I hold court in the eye in the storm. I cannot control the circumstances of the universe, but I can hold space for myself, choosing who and what I bring into my demesne.
My lessons have brought me to the practice of silence, and what I’ve found isn’t for you. It is mine, and my arsenal of words would fail the concept. You might ask, Why is she blogging, then? It’s hugging the midline: sharing a bit of my work while I still stand slightly apart from the world, listening. I am learning the power of strength held in silence.
I love you, darlings.
Somehow, this was what I needed to read today. I couldn’t have written it myself, I haven’t found that strength or silence, but the words resonated nonetheless. Thank you for sharing them.